The Team: Understanding the Internal Voices That Shape Our Flying
Many of us are not fully aware of the mental and psychological strength that is required to participate in free flight. Often, as in my case, it’s not discovered until an incident leaves its mark that indelibly impacts our flying. For me this was the case when I had to deploy my rescue parachute over the “Crazy Thermal Mesa” in Mexico.
Falling prey to full on “intermediate syndrome” I was pushing very hard on one of the bigger days. Following a friend and thinking I had all the skills that he had to handle the conditions. It was evident that I was flying beyond my skills in that I had launched at El Penon launch, thermaled up in front of El Penon and crossed over the wall to “Crazy Thermal Mesa” all within 30 minutes. At that point I experienced a severe collapse with riser twists that quickly turned into a locked in spiral. After making some basic attempts to correct the situation I deployed my rescue and had a safe landing in the trees below.
Even though I was able to walk away from the deployment, I didn’t realize the scars that were created that severely impacted my flying. It took me several months to realize that all of my flights were only around the 30 minute mark. That at 30 minutes I would be struck with overwhelming fear, which caused me to tense up and immediately search for a landing.
Coming to that realization resulted in me to begin to search for help to deal with fear in paragliding. The internet can at times be an amazing resource and I was able to find a podcast episode on The Paraglider with Heike Hamann about her masters thesis
“SEVEN STEPS TO DEALING WITH FEAR IN PARAGLIDING”. I found the text of the article at https://www.iapop.com/wp-content/uploads/dissertations/haman-sevenstepstodealingwithfear.pdf
and immediately realized that I needed to go through the process with Heike. Otherwise, I was likely to lose the passion for paragliding that had become such an important part of my life.
After reaching out to Heike, she agreed to work with me to help me develop the strategy and tools necessary to “Deal with Fear”. We spent several sessions together working through the seven steps and I am eternally grateful for the time Heike spent with me. We developed what I call the “Jeff operating instructions” which are still posted on my cockpit as a reminder, and that I use on a regular basis to get my flying to the level where I’m enjoying it and in that amazing flow state.
This article is intended to recount the work and realizations that I’ve been going through to overcome my fears and trepidations of flying. The most astounding finding is that when I hook in to my paraglider there are multiple facets of myself that are hooking in. Each of these have distinct personalities, outlooks, goals and abilities. And just like any sports team they have to find a way to work together to achieve the desired outcome of a a win.
The first question that arises is what is the definition of a win in a day of paragliding. This again is complicated because each of the “team members” has its own idea about what a win is. Some may say it’s to get out there and get as high as possible and go as far as possible to have an exciting story to tell. Another one of the characters may say it’s all about have a safe launch and safe landing. While a third character feels that a win is all about the style and beauty of the flight that determines the win. My personal definition of a win needs to be more of defining what my intentions for the flight is and not what my goal is. So basically, the definition is based on whether the team is a team or if there is a particular player is in charge.
The first and most important step is to understand the team in terms of their nature and what drives each one of them. To accomplish this, has some real deep self-examination, self-realization, and acceptance to understand how my life is driven by the players. This involved a lot of introspection and talking with others to really be able to dig it out. Here’s what I came up with.
First there’s a member of the team, we’ll call Cowboy. This member of the team is really driven to drive hard in the flying. He tends to be extremely competitive and demanding in his performance. Is very intolerant of failure and has win at all cost attitude. I have discovered that to some extent he is highly driven by ego and image. He wants to be perceived as a bad ass.
Next there is a member who is more calculating, organized, methodical and focused. We’ll call him the Professor.
This is the member who works to develop the paragliding skills and knowledge through constant practice, examination and adjustment. The Professor has been the one that has brought the skills and knowledge to the team when they were lacking and applied those skills and knowledge when they were absolutely needed (like in a big time emergency deployment). It takes a lot to shake his focus and that focus can be laser accurate.
Make it stand out
Then there is the persona that originally found the love of paragliding. This is the same persona that has an equal love for riding motorcycles and finds an equal “Zen State” in both of them.
He loves the feeling of being one with the forces around him. Being totally present in the moment. Feeling a calm cool assurance and comfort in his environment (like a panther). Loving the freedom of the movement. This is the persona that captures the artistic qualities of paragliding and “enjoys the dance”. We’ll call this persona Rembrandt.
Finally there is the instinctual persona. The persona who understands that this sport of paragliding is dangerous and feels that it is his responsibility to protect everyone from the danger. This persona is inherent in everything we do and deeply ingrained in us through 1000’s of years of evolution. He has a very important role to raise the alarm when “the package” is at risk and rally’s the crew to step in and take action. We shall call this persona Monkey Boy since this is truly the manifestation of our monkey brain. e.
What I have found is that if any single persona is in-charge it greatly impacts my flying in someway. If Cowboy is in charge, my flying tends to be very aggressive and pushing limits at any cost. However, it’s also very focused on setting and achieving goals.
If Monkey Boy is in charge the flight tends to be very short and filled with tension and focus on landing zones. Of course this often results in short duration flights. When the professor is in charge the flights tend to be rather mechanical and calculated. While this is good it’s not the most enjoyable state to be in. Rembrandt is seldom in charge of flights. This persona tends to be there more for enjoyment and guides to find the beauty of flight.
The ideal state which is what I’m attempting to develop is a state where each persona is fulfilling its responsibilities and having it’s particular needs met. In order to accomplish this I’m working on understanding what the needs and responsibilities are. For Cowboy, the need is to feel that a good goal/accomplishment is being set. Something that will challenge our skills and provide a sense of pride in accomplishing it. For Professor it’s all about the reaching new levels of technical accomplishment. Slicing through thermals smoother. Maintaining the integrity of the glider better. Reading conditions with higher accuracy. For Rembrandt it’s being able to really find the zone to relax and be entirely in the beauty of the moment. And for Monkey Boy, it’s about being sure that “the package” is safe.
Achieving the ideal state I have found that it requires specific actions to be taken. To satisfy Cowboy, I’m finding that for every flight I need to lay out a flight plant with a defined turnpoints. This seems to satisfy him by realizing that a goal is set and each turnpoint allows him to feel proud of the accomplishment. For Professor, it really is all about the methodical application of all aspects of the flight. He uses this to assure Monkey Boy that all things are in good condition and safe. It’s about being able to understand the conditions of the flight and applying the skills at the top-level possible and identifying where there are shortcomings. Professor is also responsible for identifying when fear is rational ( something bad is really happening ) and irrational ( nothing bad is happening ) and letting the rest of the team know. It is Professors responsibility also to handle conditions when they go badly. He has proven his ability to do this several times. He has the credibility to back it up. Rembrandt is responsible for the observation of the environment. For tapping into the joy. And for finding the mindful state of calm that come from the enjoyment of free flight. And finally Monkey Boy is responsible for raising the warning when something goes wrong. Training him to work with the professor is key in that the professor has the skills and can tell everyone with assuredness that “I’ve got this” when needed.
Finding this balance within the team doesn’t seem to happen naturally. Each and everyone is powerful force on their own. But the true nature of the team is established through respect, trust and confidence with the other members that all things are being taken care of.